Read My Words and Sometimes Others...

Happy New Year! by Lady G

2010-01-01T17:25:00.002-06:00

Good resolutions are simply checks that people draw on a bank where they have no account; and we should make resolutions when we are ready to change and not merely wanting to change.

New Year’s Top Ten Resolutions:

• 1. Stop smoking
• 2. Get Fit
• 3. Lose Weight
• 4. Enjoy Life More
• 5. Quit Drinking
• 6. Get Organized
• 7. Learn Something New
• 8. Get Out of Debt
• 9. Spend more time with the Family
• 10. Help Others

Success is not an accident it begins with a well-conceived plan. You can and will achieve more in the next year than you have in the past ten with a disciplined plan of action. By investing your efforts into a New Years Resolution, you give yourself a launch pad for starting your new year and your new life.

Every year it seems that the same popular Top Ten New Year resolutions crop up. Why? It's obvious. Because they are just so hard to keep! I have trouble keeping my resolutions, but this time I'm determined to finally do better.

I have narrowed mine down to Five New Year Resolutions. These are lacking for me and are important that I keep them so that I can become a better person.

Get Healthier – Exercise/Nutrition

This always sounds easier than it really is! I am not going to tell you the number of times that I've started some exercise program and gradually cut back (with one excuse or another) until it was non-existent. The best exercise I've found is walking. Plus I want to try the Wii Exercise Package.

If you saw a bottle of pills on the supermarket shelf that promised to strengthen your heart, manage your weight and boost your spirits, you would surely dismiss it as a commercial gimmick and probably try them anyway. But walking does this! Walking is simple, natural, and doesn't cost a cent. If you haven't been active for a while, it's a gentle low-impact exercise to ease you into a higher level of fitness and health. Overweight and obesity is a very good reason to get healthy:

• The risk of death rises with increasing weight

• Even moderate weight excess (10 to 20 pounds for a person of average height) increases the risk of death, particularly among adults ages 30 to 64.

• Overweight and obesity are associated with an increased risk for some types of cancer

• For every 2-pound increase in weight, the risk of developing arthritis increases by 9 to 13 percent.

• The incidence of heart disease is higher in persons who are overweight or obese

Staying healthy includes a balanced diet, staying clean, getting plenty of exercise as well as keeping your heart strong and free of drugs.

People who practice good nutrition, hygiene and exercise patterns develop a lifetime of habits that will keep them healthy for many years. Especially when they are older!
The older I get, the more conscious I am of my health. So I really need to keep this resolution. The Food Guide Pyramid helps to promote the 3 basic rules for a healthy diet: Variety, Balance, and Moderation.

Variety means that you must include many different foods from each level of the Food Pyramid because no single food can supply all of the nutrients that your growing body needs on a daily basis.

This can help to expand your food choices. It is best to eat foods of all colors. The more colors and textures in your daily meals, the better range of nutrients you'll get.

Balance means that you must eat the right amounts of foods from all levels of the Food Pyramid each day. This way you will get all the calories and nutrients you need for proper growth and development.

Moderation means that you are careful not to eat too much of any one type of food.

Spend More Time With Family/Friends

At least one day a week, sit down to dinner (Sunday) with my family. Eating together, talking together, you can share your successes, and create an atmosphere safe enough to share failures.

Since my friends are spread out geographically, I am going to at least twice a month make contact (via email, text, phone, or visit) with my friends.

Get Out Of Debt

Gas prices are through the roof, food prices aren't far behind, jobless roles are increasing, the mortgage mess is continuing, the housing market is still tanking, and the "R" word is on everyone's lips.

More and more people are turning to credit cards and home equity loans just to stay afloat and some are even using credit cards to pay their mortgages.

I am going to m\Make a determined effort to cut back some of my debt this year – I have to start somewhere.

The Zen Habits 12-Step Get-Out-of-Debt Program

 Acknowledge the problem
 Stop any non-essential spending
 Make small cutbacks
 Start an emergency fund
 Take inventory
 Make a spending plan
 Control spending
 Pay bills on time
 Start paying off the smallest debt first
 Find larger cuts
 Grow your income
 Track your progress

Bonus step: Celebrate! It’s important to celebrate, not only when you’re out of debt, but along the way as you eliminate each debt. Find free entertainment, make it a challenge to be frugal and save money and find cheap used stuff. Pat yourself on the back along the way.

Patience

The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.

"THE TWO MOST POWERFUL warriors," wrote Leo Tolstoy, "are patience and time." One thing you can do when you're being patient is think. Patience gives you the power to control yourself and control your life. And you don't really need to learn to be patient. It isn't a skill.

You don't have to do anything to be patient. You have to not do something. Patience isn't a skill — it's a decision. Patient people have simply made it a habit to make the decision to not do something. Instead of getting tense, they decide not to. Instead of yelling at people and getting mad, they decide not to. Instead of driving too fast, they decide not to.

I have such a time being a patient person. So I am going to try really hard to work on this one and pray for patience.

Help Others More

Volunteering is an important expression of citizenship and an essential component of democracy. It means the commitment of time and energy for the benefit of society and the community. It's undertaken freely and by choice, without concern for financial gain and can be a fulfilling and gratifying experience.

Helping others brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the good deeds. Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You feel more worthy of good deeds yourself, your trust in the decency of people is reinforced, and you feel more connected to yourself and to others.

In fact, research shows that those who demonstrate more altruistic social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health, above and beyond the practical benefits of receiving help and other known psycho spiritual, stress, and demographic factors that you would expect.

Creating a balanced lifestyle that includes service to others can help you feel less stress as well, as you feel more connected to your spirit, more grateful for what you have, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many of us.

So there you have it, my five New Year Resolutions, I will let you know in December 2010 how I did:

Get Healthier – Exercise/Nutrition
Spend More Time With Family/Friends
Get Out Of Debt
Patience
Help Others More

Time by Lady G

2009-08-02T19:01:00.000-05:00

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics. ~Unknown~

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!! ~Unknown~

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent? Of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

12 Relationship Red Flags by Michael Shnayerson

2009-08-02T18:27:00.003-05:00

Not long ago, I met a very attractive single mother of two at a dinner party in Sag Harbor, New York. We were seated next to each other—a "soft" setup—and by dessert, we were punctuating our stories with little touches: her hand on my forearm, mine on hers. Good signs. Read: Blind Dates For Beginners

Then the first of her two children, a boy of about ten, descended from an upstairs TV room. In each hand he clutched an action figure. This in itself was not disconcerting. It was the way he slammed the action figures into each other, his upper lip curled in a sneer, that gave me pause—that, and the adoring look his mother chose to bestow on him as he did.

Still, D—, the boy's mother, was definitely worth a follow-up. A few days later, I drove over to the waterfront inn where she had encamped with her children for a brief summer vacation. The plan was a swim in the inn's pool, then lunch at a nearby restaurant: a little ersatz family outing. D— ushered me into her room and announced the obvious fact of my arrival to her children. Read: Babies in the Theater, on Date Night?

Neither the boy nor his sister, two years older, looked over from the droning television. Not a word emanated from either one's lips. D— told them to turn off the television and change into their swimsuits. They ignored her. So D— pretended she hadn't asked them, and went into the bedroom to change. Only when the grownups started to leave did the children drag themselves, sluglike, behind us.

The swim was bad enough, with both children glowering at the grownups from their pool chairs. But lunch was worse. No sooner had the waiter taken our order than the girl seized one of the action figures from her brother's fist and threw it across the restaurant.

The boy screamed in outrage, hit his sister with the other action figure, then ran over to get the first one so he could hit her with that, too. As the sister returned fire with her fists, I turned to see what D— would do. "Now, come on, children," she said gently, lovingly, pleadingly. "Now, come on ... ."

Ten years (and one marriage) ago, I would have excused all this somehow, put it aside, and pressed on with a next date, because the mother, after all, was hot. No more. Well, all right, to be perfectly honest, I did ask her out on one more date, hoping her demon children would be more agreeable in their city home. They weren't.

So that was that. After decades of ignoring red flags, only to sail into disaster each time, I've finally realized that no matter how gorgeous and alluring the new stranger is, you have to quit when a red flag goes up. As soon as it goes up.

This isn't as easy it sounds. For starters, you have to learn how to distinguish red flags from mere quirks and annoyances. If a woman on her first date with you wears an orange-striped top and you hate orange or stripes, this is not a reason to bail.

If her cell phone rings during dinner and she takes the call at the table, this is annoying—to me, very annoying—and will need to be addressed at some opportune point (not the first date). But it's not a dealbreaker.

If, however, you take a woman to a restaurant that serves fancy pizza, as I did once, and she eats the pizza by scraping the cheese and tomato off the crust, leaves the crust on her plate, then lights a cigarette, smokes it, and grinds the butt out on the crust, this is a red flag.

This really happened, by the way, and if you work for a fashion magazine, you know who this was, so I'd better not say more.

A thoughtful reader may have already concluded that the greater challenge of red flags is their subjectivity. Another man, that is, might have yearned to provide the fathering that D—'s children so clearly needed. Or have been charmed—even turned on!—by the grinding of that cigarette butt onto the pizza crust.

So what can one do but act on one's instincts and hope for the best? Not true, not true, not true. Happily, I can report after three decades of romantic misadventures that there are, in fact, 12 red flags that everyone should watch for: clear, specific dating warningsthat mean Danger Ahead, Turn Back—no matter who you are or what you find charming. Read them here, then clip this page and carry it in your wallet or pocketbook for the rest of your single life, to be unfolded and re-read by the light of a public bathroom stall on every date that gives you doubts.

As clear as all this ought to be, I have to admit that sometimes—very occasionally—a red flag turns out not to be what you thought it was at all. It's still a red flag, that is, but somehow it's become ... part of the appeal.

In the heat of last year's election season, I would have said, as a fervent Democrat, that a woman's being a Republican was the biggest red flag of all. I haven't changed my political views, but I did recently meet a very smart, very attractive journalist who came with a warning: She's an ardent neocon. The flag is still waving, but we're having a lot of fun, so I'm just ignoring it.

Will this end up as another object lesson in my own theory? Or does love mean never having to pay attention to a red flag? I'll have to get back to you on that one.

The Dirty Dozen
Watch out for the Fling-o-matic, the Parent Trap, the Anger Hum, and these other stop signs.

Chronic lateness.
For clarity,"chronic" here means "three dates in a row." If your date arrives more than ten minutes late each time, don't wait for his (or her) fourth arrival. Be gone. No doubt your date will have wonderful excuses, and one or two may even be sound. But three in a row is a pattern, and what the pattern says is: I don't want to get into this. So neither do you.

Ketchup on eggs.
If one of those first dates is brunch, and your new friend reaches for the ketchup to put on her eggs, RED FLAG! I realize this may seem arbitrary or fussy. Or perhaps you think I'm making a class judgment here. Well, maybe I am! What's wrong with that? All I know is: Nothing good ever comes of ketchup on eggs. And it's really gross.

Rudeness to waiters.
And taxi drivers, and any-one else in a service job. I shouldn't even have to explain why this is a dealbreaker. Just remember that it is.

Scary divorce stories.
It's amazing how much a new prospect will tell you about her life on a first or second date—much more than she knows she's saying. The question is: Do you hear it? If she launches into the story of her messy divorce, is her ex the villain in every respect? To me, that's a red flag right there. Anyone who's emotionally grounded should be able to see that two people, not one, contributed to a divorce.

A deep attachment to disturbing pets.
A golden retriever is fine, and cats are all right if they don't do much. But I'm still haunted by the memory of an ancient, hairless dachshund that would manage to jump up on the bed during inopportune moments and bay. Not until the dog-owner chose to disengage herself from me and comfort the dog instead did I know that this was trouble.

Fling-o-matics.
During a first, incredibly romantic lunch with a new prospect some time ago, I mentioned that my most recent relationship had ended after a year. "A year," my new friend marveled. "That's so impressive! All of my relationships end after three months." Of course I resolved to be the exception. Over the next weeks, which happened to include Christmas and New Year's, we had an amazing time, both in New York City, where she had a charming Hell's Kitchen walk-up, and at my house in the Hamptons.

One Sunday, after I'd put her on the train home, I came back to find the most tenderly romantic note on my pillow, something about soul mates joined. The next week, for no outward cause, she called to break up with me. No argument, no terrible time, just end of story. Only later did I realize it was week 12. Lesson: When a woman over 35 tells you all her relationships have ended after a few months, RED FLAG.

Demon children.
Children with an issue or two? Maybe. Children who hate you? Watch out. Hopelessly spoiled or angry children, like D—'s? Head for the door.

Money matters.
Money stirs up so many issues, conscious and unconscious, far more than any magazine article can cover. For now, let's just list two red fiags you can spot early on. One: If a man suggests splitting the tab on a flrst date, the woman should pay—then bolt. I don't say this is fair, especially if, for instance, the woman is a CEO and the man is a freelance writer.

But it's the way it is, and any man who tries to worm out of his society-given role as tab-picker-upper on the first (or second or third) date for the sake of saving a few bucks is a creep to be ditched. For men, an early red flag about money may not start waving until the third or fourth date. A lot of women begin life as daddy's girls; a few stay that way. They feel men should provide them with the lifestyle to which they've grown accustomed from other men who did just that. If you're a sugar daddy yourself, have fun. If not, back off. Over time you'll only be despised—and dropped.

The Parent Trap.
Powerful emotions about one's parents—positive or negative—are a huge red flag. For men, mother-worship is relationship death. One 50-year-old man I know has dated every single woman in New York and found, to his bafflement, that none is good enough—for his mother, that is. (She's still calling the shots at age 85.) One of this guy's many castoffs is a very attractive, successful woman of 42, whom I later dated myself.

Now that I know both, I can only wonder who was the first to reject the other. It must have been like two gunfighters at the O.K. Corral. N— rejected me after three really nice dates because she decided my eight-year-old daughter, whom she hadn't yet met, would be an "encumbrance" to our relationship. (Since she hadn't met her, she couldn't claim my daughter was a demon child.) Only after we became friends did I learn how much she resents both her parents. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Bad sex.
I don't need to go into detail here, do I? Except to say that bad sex may get better after a first, fumbling time, but bad sex two or three times in a row is sex that only gets worse. Don't fool yourself into thinking that sex is just one part of a relationship, that laughter and shared values are as important, etc., etc. They're not. Red flag. BIG red flag.

Dirty underwear and socks.
Your mother was right. They have to be clean. Dirty underwear is the hallmark of a secret slob, and every secret slob has many worse habits you don't even want to think about—but will all too soon get to know if you don't leave now.

The Anger Hum.
As he or she talks, not just about past romantic relationships but about work, friends, and family, listen for a low hum of anger, like a third rail running along the tracks of your new prospect's life. For reasons I never quite figured out, I used to be attracted to women who had that vibe. Maybe it seemed sexy; maybe it reminded me of my mother. But I now know how to recognize anger—not shows of temper, which may be healthy in moderation, but the deeper, more destructive hum—and to back off when I hear it.

I Am Who I Am by Lady G

2009-07-01T15:51:00.002-05:00

And who am I, you ask? I am a dreamer and a wonderer. I love life with all the joys and heartache it brings. I love being around positive people and people whose interests are different from mine. I love to travel and going the scenic route whenever possible. I love children because they keep me young. I am in love with love and those who truly know how to love. At times, I am a lonely and misunderstood soul. Only those I love and care about can truly hurt me…and a few have at some point in the relationship.

I must remember that I shouldn’t spend too much time questioning people motives, and keep the line of communication open with those closest to me about what is going on with me so they can keep me lifted up when situations bring me down, and then I need to learn from the experience and move on.

I must always be true to myself and then to others. I like me for who I am and if people don’t like me, then they need to move on. I am not going to change who I am so someone will like me or accept me or love me.

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant! When dating people put their best attributes front and center and sometimes some positive lies to look good or impress someone they are attractive to. How soon they forget that the truth about who they really are will leave the darkness and go to the light.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Remember, strangers are just friends waiting to happen. Just be mindful that not everyone who claims friendship actually wants to be your friend (occasionally I forget that), sometimes they have other motives for being in your life. Just learn to recognize.
It is the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary. It does not take a whole lot of money to enjoy life and have fun. Sitting around the house all the time is not me-unless I am sick or working on projects. I’ve always envision myself with a husband who love to enjoy life and have fun, going for long drives on the scenic route, spending time doing something positive with the family, and romantic getaways to keep life interesting and uplifted. I miss that.

Enjoying life and being around positive people goes a long way in keeping individuals and marriages healthy. Lately, I have been sick, either with my feet and legs swelling, migraine headaches, or my heart racing. And I know that it is due to stress and being home bound. I woke up this morning feeling down and disappointed about a lot of things that are going on in my life and after I got to work, it hit me, I give advice but when it is happening to me; I don’t take my own advice.

A change is going to come. I am who I am and I really like being Gina. Being a wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, co-worker is all a part of me. I co-exist with many different people and personalities, you don’t have to like or love me, but you must respect me for me or leave me alone. It is that simple.

I too, have to stop expecting people to do and be what I think they should be doing or being the kind of person that I want them to be. If I can’t deal with who you are and how you treat me, then it is time for me to leave you alone also. But if the people around me can’t get along in harmony then what is the use of wasting precious time. The last two weeks ought to make us think and see how precious life and time is with all the death that has taken place with celebrities and close friends and relatives.

I feel that we as parents should support our children in pursuit of their dreams. I don’t think we should dream for our children. If your dreams as a child didn’t come to be, please don’t force your dreams on your children. Children will be children and we as adults should be more understanding and forgiving. We all make mistakes, and as adults, we want people to give us a second chance, so why can’t you do the same for the children in our life.

Who are you to think that because a child is angry and says things out of angry that he or she can’t be forgiven? An adult should have enough compassion and love in their heart to be understanding and forgiving and be a parent to that child. Bottom line, a child is a child with a lot of emotions, pain, peer pressure, and they need guidance. If we are not there for our children, then who will be? Let’s put our pride aside and be the parents that our children need and spend time with them and support them.

Life is not always a picnic, be thankful of the good times and learn from the bad times. Live life forward looking back every once in a while is ok, but don’t live in the past (I have to remember that).

Try to live on the sunny side of life. There seems to be two types of people in the world: those who try to enjoy life (working on that one) and those who just like to complain about it.

I believe happiness is a choice you make in almost every situation. You can’t be happy all the time, but there are moments you can take pleasure and feel happy and when those moments arise – choose happiness!

There is more to who I am but a lot has been weighing on me lately and I just had to write it down and share it.

Life is temporary. We are only on this earth for a very short period of time. Make sure you enjoy its many pleasures and treasures! Live, love, be kind, and enjoy life!

Good Friends Make Life So Much Better

2009-06-04T21:49:00.002-05:00

I am dedicating this to: Sandra Gaddis, Teresa Wash, Janet Wilson, Kim Catchings, Dana Reid, Jackay Steele, & Pamela Gilmore. You guys are my closest and dearest friends!

~ FRIENDS ~

As we walk our path of life,
We meet people everyday.
Most are simply met by chance.
But, some are sent our way.

These become special friends
Whose bond we can't explain;
The ones who understand us
And share our joy and pain.

Their love contains no boundaries.
So, even when we are apart.
Their presence enhances us
With a warmth felt in the heart.

This love becomes a passageway,
When even the miles disappear.
And so, these friends, God sends our way,
Remain forever near.

~Author Lisa Pelzer Vetter~

Life Is A Gift Never Take It For Granted by Lady G

2009-06-04T20:44:00.000-05:00

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more.

Happiness is a choice. Happy people understand this, while unhappy people struggle with judging themselves for not being able to easily shift to a happy state of mind. Always remember that you have options in everything you do, think or feel, and that you choose the things that are best for you.

Never take someone for granted, hold each and every person close to your heart because you may wake one morning and realize that you have lost a true diamond while collecting stones. Remember the grass always look greener on the other side of the fence. Never satisfied with what you have in a relationship, you go after what you think is better and you end up with nothing.

Relationships are worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. Sometimes people need to fight for you. Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You are a good person and you are a good friend and you should realize that whatever is meant to happen will happen whether it is good or bad.

We are all taken for granted once in a while. And sometimes we don't even mind it, if it is done by someone whom we love and is really close to us. But if it is a regular thing that keeps on repeating itself, it surely hurts and irritates. This world is full of people who are complaining about been taken for granted by their bosses, colleagues, spouse, friends, siblings and even by their own children. They hate it, but never really are able to change it.

If observed carefully, one can easily see that these people are nice and decent; in fact at times too nice and decent. They are soft spoken, willing to please, helpful, sincere and hardworking. In general other people like them and even praise them, behind their back. But they some how never manage to get the type of recognition and reward from where it really matters.

Obviously everyone will take you for granted if they develop a feeling that you are stuck with them and you are not going anywhere. So, keep growing. Make continuous improvement in yourself. Develop better attitude, work on your self image. Show the preparedness to move on and see the people's attitude towards yourself change.

My advice to enjoying life and never take it for granted is: to always smile a lot, sing even if it is to yourself, hang around positive people, laughter is good, be active, be creative, give hugs, when feeling down or troubled recite this phrase, “and this too shall pass”, be kind, be grateful, and meditate!

Thoughts On Real Friendship by Lady G

2009-04-20T09:36:00.002-05:00

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
~ Dr. Seuss

One of the primary ingredients in a positive friendship is that one or both friends feel that they can be "themselves" and that they don't have to put on airs or impress one another.

Recently, I have become aware that someone I trusted as a friend has gone behind my back, digging up information and spreading it among people that we both know. If she had come to me with these allegations (concerns), then I would have thought that she was a friend that was looking out for me.

But she didn’t come to me. She thought so little of me as a friend that she just decided to tell everyone but me. And it came back to me. It hurt me to hear this and more than one person has warned me about her.

People that spread rumors seem not to understand that there are three sides to a story: there is each person side and the truth. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Although there should be an assumption of confidentiality and trust between friends, some people can’t help themselves when they get some information and can’t wait to tell anyone who will listen.

A real friend will listen and be there for you in life. But a fake friend will help the masses talk negative of you and put you down and smile in your face. I call these types of friends “backstabbers” and when I personally find “a friend” like that, I just have to let go and the feelings are never the same.

So now I have one less “friend” to think of. Here today and gone tomorrow. I am hurt and disappointed and I have talked to a few close friends and I prayed about it and now I am letting it go.

Friendship if you can find it is a wonderful thing. It takes time to cultivate and grow and when it does, it is good. Many friendships grow over time in terms of trust and intimacy. You can wind up being friends with someone that may not register when you first meet them.

SIDE BY SIDE OR MILES APART, DEAR FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS CLOSE TO THE HEART!

Friendship can sneak up on you, surprise you after years of acquaintance, and become much more than you ever expected. Others are almost instantaneous bond. There’s no set pattern, but if take the time to learn what you need to get and give in friendships, your chances of cultivating positive and lasting ones are all the stronger.

There are many different types of friends that we might have in the course of a lifetime. Each holds the potential to enhance our lives and allow us to enhance theirs. Above all else, friends of every sort and level are cultivated with communication of some kind.

There are more and better tools for meeting people, sharing interests, and making friends of all sorts than ever before. Whatever shape our friendships take, they’re brought to life and sustained with communication.

It may take only a few words, a good deed, or single shared grimace to bring a friendship into being that will last a lifetime. Or it may be the work of many years and conversations, and countless hours over equally countless cups of coffee. The method is much less important than the quality of that communication. There are as many ways to make friends and keep them as there are people in this world. Your mileage will vary.

We do take a risk when we trust, whether it’s in person or via technology. There are always going to be those who would take advantage of our generosity and capacity for friendship. Still, it’s a risk that I consider well worth the gamble.

There are basic precautions to be taken with any new relationship—or even existing ones. A good dose of sensibility goes a long way, but that being said—there’s a whole world of people to discover. And you never can tell where the friends you just haven’t met yet are going to be found. A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn.

Please don’t become bitter or resentful “fake friends”. That is wasted energy. If it is someone you truly felt close to vent, grieve, pray, and move on. Remember you can’t change people. If a person is happy or content or in denial about themselves then you will be fighting a losing battle to try and continue this friendship. Life is too short to dwell on the negatives just move on with the positives.

FRIENDS: I ROLL WITH THE BEST AND NOTHING LESS!

Don't Put Off...

2009-03-20T23:31:00.003-05:00

I received this in an email and wanted to share it with you. This really makes you think:

A friend of mine who knows how much I "put off" doing things sent this to me today. Do you see yourself in this:

READ VERY SLOWLY..... IT'S SIMPLE AND PROFOUND.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together...

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained.. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to . . . . . . not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow .' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?
When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away ...... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over...

It's National Friendship Week.. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.

If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do, but mostly just you being you.
'Life may not be the party we hoped for.... but while we are here we might as well dance!

Don't Leave Home Without Him

2009-03-10T18:02:00.003-05:00

Be careful today! If you think you are able to handle the trials and temptations of this day without God, you could be in for some trouble. The Christian, who calls upon God to protect his mind and actions from the temptations of this world, before he starts his day, is making a wise investment. Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41

Doctors warn people not to leave home without having slept enough to recover from the previous day’s labor. Nutritionists warn us not to leave home without our carefully balanced and healthy lunches. Schools warn our children not to leave home without eating a good breakfast – the most important meal of the day. Vacation planners warn us not to leave home without travel insurance. Pick an area or subject that some group cares about, and you will likely find a warning by that group not to leave home without their product.

Even with all these well-meaning warnings, we still leave home without things we need – and that isn’t anything new. The love of God revealed in Jesus Christ is broader and deeper than anything the world had ever seen before, and has never seen since. As we prepare to give ourselves again to Jesus, I want us to remember one simple phrase: Don’t leave home without him!

Under the canopy of prayer and God’s presence, there is a sense of security and hope unlike anything else in this world. If you find yourself worrying or fearful over a situation in your life, be reminded that the Creator of the world is in partnership with you. There is nothing that can reach you that did not first come by Him. Smile!

When you have a constant awareness of God’s presence with you, prayer is as natural as breathing. If you will purpose to focus on God, you will find yourself praying more and wanting to share everything with God. Be mindful to pause and just listen. God still speaks to His children.

So every time you leave home, please don’t leave home without Him. Carry Him with you every where you go and you life will be a whole lot easier and peaceful.

“Prayer will make a man cease from sin, or sin will entice a man to cease from prayer.” –John Bunyon

Ten Guidelines From God

2009-02-27T22:11:00.001-06:00

1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME:
Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don't wake up one morning and say, 'Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here.' Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grew from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to do list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, and rush.

9. BE KIND:
Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for on reason only: to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of love. Love me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me. Don't ever forget it!

Forgiving When It Hurts by Lady G

2009-02-22T20:24:00.001-06:00

Misunderstandings, unfulfilled expectations, careless remarks, and other similar experiences in life can cause hurt feelings.

What is the natural response when someone offends you or imposes there will on you? Get angry, defend yourself, and retaliate. What happens if we do the opposite? If we respond in gentleness and love, then forgive the person who offended you and do not hold them responsible for their action.

We could just turn loose the offense and let it go! One reason we need to forgive others is to enable God to forgive us. Should we forgive someone because they did something to us and they need to be forgiven? No, because our forgiveness does very little for the offender.

Stop and think for a moment about what part of us gets offended. It is our sinful nature. It is self-centered and responds to certain experiences with hurt, anger, self-pity, and other emotions. The emphasis is on our self, protecting our self because we don’t want to get hurt again, or avenging our self for what they did to us, or even justifying our feelings of anger and resentment. It feels good to our sinful nature when we protect or avenge our self; it feels natural and right.

Jesus taught that you should have a very different response, however. "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Mt 5:38-39). The word translated "resist" means to stand against or in opposition to; to oppose or resist. It is a very active and forceful word. The phrase, "evil person," refers to whatever evil causes pain or sorrow.

If you must forgive someone who has hurt you or done you harm, should you simply allow them to do it and never talk to them about it? No, and especially not if they are a Christian. You have an obligation to other believers to help them mature and become more Christ-like, so it is important to give them opportunity to improve. In fact, the Bible gives very clear instruction on how to do it.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector" (Mt 18:15-17).

One purpose for going to a believer who has hurt or harmed you is to give them opportunity to acknowledge their fault and respond appropriately. Another purpose for going to them is to give yourself opportunity to express love and interest for them, denying the self-centered demands of your sinful nature. You should never try to make them feel bad or manipulate them into admitting they were wrong. Those would be selfish motives and therefore sinful. Instead, your goal must be to forgive them, as Peter recognized when he asked Jesus how many times he should forgive.

If the person is not a believer, the circumstances would determine whether you should go to them. Any attempt to manipulate them would be wrong. Your purpose for going would be to express godly character and deny the demands of your sinful nature.

If there were a vicious, deadly animal in your house threatening your family, you would not try to appease it, hoping it will be satisfied and leave you alone. No, you would use whatever force is necessary to eliminate it as a threat. That is exactly how you must treat your sinful nature. And an excellent way to do that is to forgive someone who has hurt you.

Blessings In Disguise by Cathy Pinto

2009-02-19T21:29:00.004-06:00

There are angels all around us and recently, I have had a few enter into my life when I least expected it; but needed them all the same. I thank God for my angels.

I hope that after reading this, you will be able to find your angels and appreciate them for what they bring to you and thank God for them.

God sends His little angels
in many forms and guises.
They come as lovely miracles
that God alone devises,
For He does nothing without purpose –
everything’s a perfect plan
To fulfil in bounteous measure
all He ever promised and...
Every little angel
with a body bent and broken
Or a little mind unknowing
or little words unspoken
Is just God’s way of trying
to reach out and touch the hands
Of all who do not know Him
and cannot understand
That often through an angel
whose wings will never fly
The Lord is pointing out
the way to His eternal sky,
Where there will be no handicaps
of body, soul, or mind,
And where all limitations
will be dropped and left behind...
So accept these little angels
as gifts from God above,
And thank Him for this lesson
in faith and hope and love.

The Wolves Within

2009-02-19T18:57:00.004-06:00

Things happen for a reason. I was getting ready for a church program tonight thinking I was going with someone and ended up getting angry when at the last minute, I found out that I was attending the event alone.

Then a calm came over me as I read this before leaving:

An old Grandfather, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."

"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eye and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed."

ENOUGH SAID! Thank you Jesus!

I Believe (Anonymous)

2009-02-15T20:11:00.002-06:00

I believe-
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a
while and, you must forgive them for that.

I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them

I believe-
That you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe-
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe-
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time!

I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe-
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe-
That just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to does not mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other, and just
because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe-
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I believe-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are the essence of life.
Tell them today how much you love them and what they mean to you.

To believe in something or someone is to have a firm religious faith; and to accept as real, true, and genuine. Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true.

Seven Financial Habits

2009-02-14T15:38:00.004-06:00

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their comments, both good and not so good.

Blogging to me is a form of expressing thoughts and ideas, providing information, talking about life lessons, and getting people to talk. I realize before I start blogging that people will not always agree with what I am blogging about and I realize that some topics may push some buttons.

I haven't just started blogging, I have been doing it for years through emails and someone that I don't know, suggested that I should set up a blog on the internet and so I did.

I don't regret it and I loved the responses. I have long since stop wearing my emotions on my sleeve, but thanks for the comments. No one is raining on my parade.

God is good all the time and if God is with me then who in this world is against me! I believe and I have faith that he will take care of me and he loves us all!

OK, I get a bit long winded when I am writing back to the subject matter. This was sent to me in an email and I wanted to share it with you. Financial habits:

Personal character is made of habits and habits come in two varieties: good and bad. The secret to learning good habits or breaking bad ones is found in conscious repetition. To create a habit, you must repeat an action over and over again until it becomes a natural response. To break a habit, you must to create a new one or choose not to do something over and over until it becomes a natural response.

Want to become more financially responsible? Consciously focus on the following practices. Repeat them over and over until they become natural responses. Before you know it, these will be your habits, too.

Habit 1. Regularly balance your accounts. Financially responsible people calculate a current balance in their checkbook or online account after every transaction. They know where they are at all times.

Habit 2. Save money consistently. Financially responsible people do not spend all the money they have and then rely on credit. They always save some and they do it first, before they pay anyone else.

Habit 3. Think first and spend later. This is the habit that keeps financially responsible people from spending money they don't have. They do not buy things impulsively. They make lists, weigh the consequences, wait for sales and above all, exercise self-control.

Habit 4. Focus on the real price. Financially responsible people see through the come-ons, marketing hype and financing options. They know how to calculate the bottom line. If they can afford the full price, fine. If not, they are not interested in monthly payments.

Habit 5. Know your financial condition. Financially responsible people know within a few bucks the current balance on their mortgage, their investment accounts and other assets. They make decisions based on how their net worth will be affected.

Habit 6. Refuse unsecured debt. Financially responsible people shun debt of all kinds, but especially unsecured debt. If they have secured, i.e. mortgage debt, they repay it rapidly.

Habit 7. Make principle-based decisions. Financially responsible people make financial decisions based on principles, not feelings. They know their feelings are fickle and can change.

Experts in human behavior say it takes 21 repetitions to break a bad habit or to establish a new habit. That means if you do something every day, after three weeks it will become a nearly automatic response, a habit. Continue for another 21 days and you will have established a life-long habit. It takes just six weeks to change your life.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE

2009-02-04T12:21:00.003-06:00

Please read and do your part for Motorcycle Safety. My friends Kim Catchings and Rob Walton are trying to get a bill pass to promote motorcycle safety. Even if you don't ride, but know of family and friends who does, this bill is very important to the well being of our love ones.---Gina Turner Fleming

On Tue, Feb 3, 2009 at 12:45 PM, Kim Catchings wrote:

I am writing to update you all on what has happened with the motorcycle mandate we were requesting for new riders and riders under the age of 21 and to say thank you to all of you who took the time to reach out to the legislators to let them know you supported this issue. That means a lot to Rob and I.

I am saddened to report that it looks like it won't pass. According to Senator Tom King, chair of the Senate Transportation Committee, the bill in the Senate died because the Department of Public Safety "just doesn't want to deal with motorocycle safety." What I found most amazing was that a state agency can say what it does and does not want to do. Having earned my BA in political science, I was under the belief that if a law was passed the state agency would have to abide by it. I understand asking out of respect and consideration how they felt about the issue and if there was a legitimate reason then possibly holding off. But to kill such an important bill because a state agency simply doesn't want to deal with it is amazing to me. I know there must be something more to that. Now what I am going to ask you to do is to write them and let them know your frustration. Let them know that you expected them to do a job and they didn't simply because people who are paid by us didn't WANT TO!!! That's just like me telling Rob that I don't want to balance the books this month because I don't want to deal with it!! I can't do that---it's my job.

I am going to write a letter to the chairs and vice chairs of the Transportation Committees, Department of Public Safety Commissioner Stephen Simmons, and Governor Haley Barbour expressing my anger and disappointment. If you want, you can send me emails and I will include them with the letter to show them that people actually care about this issue. They must be held accountable for their lack of concern about people who are getting on a VERY DANGEROUS MACHINE. I know that individuals should want to do it for themselves, but when you have dealers that tell people its not much to it and try to provide some basic info in the stores before selling it---something of substance must be done---that's what the mandate for new riders and young riders was intended to do.

So again I ask your support by sending me emails to include with my letter stating your support for this measure. We will not give up the fight to save lives---we will be back at it next year and every year until something happens!!!

Please read the message below and forward this to all your friends in Mississippi. I am very discouraged with our state leaders right now. Mississippi is #1 in motorcycle related deaths and the non profit organization I am working with is working hard to change that. I need you to send me emails expressing your disappointment or frustration that a bill could not pass the sub committee in either the House or the Senate.

If you don't live in Mississippi yourself but you have friends or family that do send me an email to include in the letter I am writing to the governor, Department of Public Safety Commissioner, and the chairs and vice chairs of the House and Senate Transportation Committees. By the way, please understand that federal money is available if Mississippi simply mandated that new riders and riders under the age of 21 complete a motorcycle riding course. No state monies would have been necessary for this measure, but the Department of Public Safety simply didn't want to "deal with motorcycle safety." By the way, Mississippi is the only state that does not have some type of requirement in place for motorcycles completion of a motorcycle safety course.

Kim Catchings, MBA
Vice President of Operations
MS MoToSteps Motorcycle Safety Training, Inc.
(Mississippi's 1st & Only Non-profit Motorcycle Safety Training Program)
PO Box 6537
Jackson, MS 39282-6537
Phone/Fax: 601.510.9157
Alternate Email: k_catchings@motosteps.org

Keep Love Alive

2009-02-03T22:12:00.001-06:00

Love! It can be the most wonderful feeling in the world or the most torturous emotional state known to mankind. I want to talk about the good kind of love, the kind that lifts your spirit, fills your heart, and changes you in the most deep and profound way. If you are fortunate enough to have found that kind of love, how do you make it stay?

The mystery of love is hard to get hold of! Those who actively seek it always seem to walk away disappointed, and then when you least expect it, that special someone seems to just show up. It happened to me and it can happen to you!

Why not make today the day you recommit to making that love stay? Don’t take it for granted and expect it to always be there. Love is like a garden that needs to be nurtured and tended to. An unattended garden will soon lose its beauty and die – and the same is true for love. How do you make love stay? You work on it every single day!

Make a vow to love, honor, and cherish each other. A vow is a statement of intention that's a blueprint for action. It isn't a constant statement like "I'll love you forever." Vows are commitments to specific behaviors to practice every day.

Whether you're in a relationship or not, thinking about the kind of behaviors that nurture love can help you build a better union. Though it may seem that love is an effortless grace that will last forever, sustaining it takes conscious effort.

From beginning to end, relationships are one challenge after another as we try to discover the skills we need for lasting love.

The first great truth is that all great relationships require work.

Contrary to popular belief it’s not love alone that makes a relationship work, it's how you are able to handle the conflicts and disagreements between the two of you that will predict the sustainability of your partnership.

The key to lasting love is knowing how to honestly communicate what you want your partner to know, without blame or judgment. I know that’s a pretty tall order when you are angry and upset. But that’s exactly the time when your relationship is at it biggest risk.

Trust is the central rock supporting any real relationship. With so much at stake, be it emotions, finances, children or future goals, there needs to be absolute trust for love to fully develop. Building trust in a relationship takes hard work and commitment. Trust requires that you listen to each other and communicate your needs.

Trust requires honesty above all else. Once you’ve built trust, you’ve done something magical, and you should do everything in your power to keep it if you plan on maintaining your relationship.

In order to know what it is your partner needs to feel safe, you have to listen to what they’re telling you. What matters most may not always be obvious. Listen to the people closest to you and you might be surprised what you hear. A good ear goes a long way to building the trust you seek.

There’s no use beating around the bush when it comes to creating a strong relationship. Be forward about your needs and expectations. Let people know what you’re going to do—and then do it. Trust takes time, but if you communicate effectively you’ll have a stronger foundation to build on.

Jealousy is often the central concern when it comes to trust in relationships. You can’t build trust if you’re constantly spending a lot of time apart from the person you're trying to build trust with.

People notice if you’re constantly checking out other guys or girls when you’re out together or you constantly chat about a particular relationship from your past. By listening to the needs of others and communicating your feelings, you can combat the negative effects of jealousy.

Just make sure not to overlook how someone else might feel. Put yourself in their shoes and see how comfortable you feel. Trust takes time, energy and some really soft soles to help you travel the distance.

And I’ll leave you with these quotes: A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else. Jealousy is like fire, if you get hotter it becomes more; if you cool down, it fades away. The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.

The Super Bowl XLIII - Pittsburgh Steelers vs Arizona Cardinals

2009-01-31T17:09:00.004-06:00

The Super Bowl was created as part of the merger agreement between the National Football League (NFL) and its competitive rival, the American Football League (AFL).

After its inception in 1920, the NFL fended off several rival leagues before the AFL began play in 1960. The intense competitive war for players and fans led to serious merger talks between the two leagues in 1966, culminating in a merger agreement announcement on June 8, 1966.

One of the conditions of the AFC-NFC Merger was that the winners of each league's championship game would meet in a contest to determine the "world champion of football".

According to NFL Films President Steve Sabol, then NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle wanted to call the game "The Big One". During the discussions to iron out the details, AFC founder and Kansas City Chiefs owner Lamar Hunt had jokingly referred to the proposed inter league championship as the "Super Bowl".

Hunt thought of the name after seeing his children playing with a toy called a Super Ball; the small, round ball is now on display at the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. The name was consistent with postseason college football games which had long been known as "bowl games."

The "bowl" term originated from the Rose Bowl Game, which was in turn named for the bowl-shaped stadium in which it is played. Hunt only meant his suggested name to be a stopgap until a better one could be found. Nevertheless, the name "Super Bowl" became permanent.

After the NFC's Green Bay Packers convincingly won the first two Super Bowls, some team owners feared for the future of the merger. At the time, many doubted the competitiveness of AFL teams compared with NFL counterparts.

That perception all changed with the AFL's New York Jets' defeat of the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III in Miami. One year later, the AFC's Kansas City Chiefs defeated the NFL's Minnesota Vikings 23-7 and won Super Bowl IV in New Orleans, the last World Championship game played between the champions of the two leagues, as the league merger finally took place later that year.

The game is played annually on a Sunday as the final game of the NFL Playoffs. Originally the game took place in early to mid-January following a 14-game regular season and playoffs.

Over the years the date of the Super Bowl has progressed from the second Sunday in January, to the third, then the fourth Sunday in January; the game is now played on the first Sunday in February, given the current 17-week (16 games and one bye week) regular season and three rounds of playoffs.

This progression of the date of the Super Bowl has been caused by the following: the expansion of the NFL regular season in 1978 from 14 games to 16, the expansion of the pre-Super Bowl playoffs from two rounds to three (also in 1978), the addition of the regular season bye-week in the 1990s, and the decision prior to the 2003 season to start the regular season the week after Labor Day, moving the start of the season to a week later than it had been (in 1997, for example, the regular season started on Sunday, August 31).

Former NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle is often considered the mastermind of both the merger and the Super Bowl. His leadership guided the two competitors into the merger agreement and cemented the preeminence of the Super Bowl.

The winning team gets the Vince Lombardi Trophy, named for the coach of the Green Bay Packers, who won the first two Super Bowl games and 3 of the 5 preceding NFL championships (1961–62, 1965).

Following his death in September 1970, the trophy was named the Vince Lombardi Trophy, and was first awarded as such to the Baltimore Colts at Super Bowl V in Miami. Super Bowl III was the first to be numbered.

Super Bowls I and II were not known as such until the game's third year and were named "The AFC-NFC World Championship Game" when they were played.

Over the years it has become the most-watched U.S. television broadcast of the year, and has become likened to a de facto U.S. national holiday. In addition, many popular singers and musicians have performed during the Super Bowl's pre-game and halftime ceremonies.

Super Bowl Sunday is the second-largest U.S. food consumption day, following Thanksgiving. The Super Bowl was first played on January 15, 1967 as part of an agreement between the NFL and its younger rival, the American Football League (AFL) in which each league's championship team would play each other in an "AFL-NFL World Championship Game".

After the leagues merged in 1970, the Super Bowl became the NFL's championship game, played between the champions of the league's two conferences: the American Football Conference (AFC) and the National Football Conference (NFC). Since the NFL season extends into the New Year, the Super Bowl uses Roman numerals to identify each game, rather than the year it was held.

For example, Super Bowl XLII, played in February 2008, was actually part of the 2007 season.

Super Bowl XLIII will be played between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida on February 1, 2009 in which the Steelers are a 6.5 point favorite.

My favorite team since 1977, when I first fell in love with the game has always been the “Dallas Cowboys” and although my team did not make it to the Super Bowl, I will watch the game. This year, I will be rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Dallas Cowboys became the dominant team in the NFL in the early 1990s. After championships by division rivals New York and Washington to start the decade, the Cowboys won three of the next four Super Bowls.

The Cowboys were led by Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin, the first two of whom won MVP awards. The early 1990s also featured the Buffalo Bills appearing in four consecutive Super Bowls, although they lost all of them.

The 49ers became the first team to win five championships with their win in Super Bowl XXIX, with the Cowboys accomplishing that same feat a year later. As both teams began to fizzle late into the decade, another NFC powerhouse, the Green Bay Packers, led by multiple-MVP quarterback Brett Favre, emerged, winning Super Bowl XXXI following the 1996 season.

Enjoy the game!

Time

2009-01-29T13:17:00.001-06:00

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident. To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!! - Unknown

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent? Of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

Equality For All

2009-01-25T17:29:00.002-06:00

God only ask for 10%, so why does the government ask for more. Why can’t the government require 10% of each working individual and 10% from small and big business and public and private corporations? Equality for all – is great in theory, but not in reality…

This was sent to me in an email, I thought it was cute and meaningful and decided to pass it on!
URINE TEST
(I sure would like to know who wrote this one! They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!)

I DO HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB.....

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me.
I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.
In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random
urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is
the distribution of my taxes to people who DON'T have to pass a
urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check
because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get
back on their feet. I do, however, have a problem with helping someone
sitting on their BUTT doing drugs while I work. Can you imagine how
much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get
a public assistance check?

I hope that the anonymous person that wanted to know my views on politics will read this, here is one of them. I whole-heartedly agree with this piece!

Modern Day Romance

2009-01-25T13:43:00.003-06:00

Marriages are sometimes difficult. Being close to someone else brings rewards, but it also creates tension. I believe that our expectations about love and romance are out of touch with reality. While being in love is great, love does not solve the problems that people face.

We as a people are also individuals, when it comes to love, one size does not fit all. I mean that when problems arise in a marriage, one solution in your marriage may not be the right solution in someone else’s marriage.

Marriage is not always tied to romantic love. Marriage is more practical in nature, designed for raising families. I'm not saying that couples don't have genuine feelings and affection for each other, but notions of love and romance is tempered by reality.

Most people now believe that love is supposed to be based on complete honesty, undying passion, and an all-encompassing view of emotional closeness.

And it almost goes without saying - everyone expects their partners to be faithful.
All of this begs the question: Have we somehow set the standards so high that everyone falls short?

While many people have fallen for the idea of perfect love, few couples can make it work in the long run. For many people their marriages are filled with half-truths, fading passion and emotional distance.

Quite frankly, I believe that many people are simply not well-suited for the demands of a modern-day romance. Not only have we set our expectations as high as possible, but many people have personality characteristics which make it difficult for them to be emotionally intimate with a romantic partner.

Despite the fact that many people are poor candidates for romantic love, people feel pressured to fit the norm - to fit into our current version of love and romance.

Our pursuit of ideal love tends to produce results which are far from ideal: Our quest for perfect love causes much heartache, anguish and pain. When things don't go exactly according to plan, people are left feeling inadequate, disappointed and they start questioning themselves - "How and why did this happen to me? Why can't I make love work?"

Again, could the answer be as simple as this - not everyone belongs in a modern-day romantic marriage?

Ultimately, I believe that much of the lying and cheating that occurs in our marriages is caused by couples setting unrealistic expectations, which they can never meet; and by people trying to be someone who they are not.

I also believe that we as a people try to live out our fantasy of how romance and marriage should be instead of living in the real world of people are human and makes mistakes. We should learn how to communicate and listen to each other more than less.

Marriages are never easy and in many ways we make them more difficult than they need to be.In my opinion, much of the sadness we experience in our marriages stems from our desire to overlook what's obvious about people, love and romance.

In marriages, we should respect each other as individuals, learn each other likes and dislikes, listen and communicate, be each other’s best friend, don’t discuss your marriage with family and friends.

My mother use to tell me “that if your business gets out in the streets, you put it there.”

Always tell each other that you love him/her, never take each other for granted, and NEVER go to bed angry.

Relax and enjoy your marriage, your family, and your best friend (soul mate) until death takes you away!

Take The Time To Give To Yourself Daily

2009-01-18T19:32:00.003-06:00

Giving to yourself, honoring yourself, and loving yourself is important. As you take the time to eat right, exercise, meditate or fulfill your own need, you will begin to experience a sense of empowerment, peace and harmony. Each step that you take will help to bring the scales back into balance.

Many people think that others motivate them, and though we are inspired by outside forces, we act due to our own motivation and decisions. Here are a few tips on how to keep your Self motivated and live the extraordinary life you deserve.

1. Learn something new everyday
Learning gives us a wide range of perspective to call on
Learning helps us adapt to new situations
Learning feeds innovation from a broad knowledge of unfamiliar situations
Learning deepens our character and makes us more inspiring
Learning makes us more confident

2. Each night as you go to bed think of all you have to be grateful for
You attract what you focus your interest on and that being appreciative of your successes will encourage more successes into your life
Being grateful immediately increases your satisfaction with your life and allows you to feel happier, which in turn allows you to accomplish more

3. Do something special for yourself
Take a nap, a bubble bath, polish your nails, read a magazine; anything that is just for you
Find a hobby that is relaxing and soothing to the soul

4. Exercise often- it helps decrease stress and helps you find your center
Exercising and meditating is a great way to relax and help relieve stress and finding your center

5. Know that you are the only person who can motivate you
Train yourself to finish what you start
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
Choose to be happy
Leave your comfort zone some time
Live fully in the present moment

When a man finds no peace within himself, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.
- L. A. Rouchefolicauld

Challenges

2009-01-16T13:23:00.002-06:00

~ Disappointment is often the salt of life. ~

An "awakening" is a moment of clarity in which a new insight or understanding is gained. With this new awareness the experience of life is seen differently, and new possibilities are opened. Changes in patterns of thought, emotions, and behavior occur.

An awakening allows the possibility of growth to new levels of psychological and spiritual maturity. I also think of an “awakening” as a challenge. And some days, a person can be challenged to wits end. When this happens, then I meditate and talk to God.

Today, do I want to be bitter or better? I choose to be better! I am responsible for all my experiences of life. And so are you!

You are not responsible for everything that happens to you, but you are responsible for how you react to what does happen to you. Sometimes, I forget this. Life acts. You react. Your reaction is under your control. In any life situation you are always responsible for at least one thing.

You are always responsible for the attitude towards the situation in which you find yourself. Your attitude is your reaction to what life hands you. You can have either a more positive or a more negative attitude.

Your attitude is under your control and can be changed. With the right attitude you can be a resilient person…

APRON

2009-01-11T14:33:00.006-06:00

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven. When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds. When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER.........

Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool.

Her granddaughters set theirs on the kitchen counter to thaw.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T11:41:00.006-06:00

Broaden Your Mind In 2009!

I wanted to let everyone know that I have moved, and to give you my new address.
I have moved from Beggars' Alley located on Poverty Lane at the corner of Bleak and Busted Circle. As of today, I have a brand new home.

My new address is:
Living Well Drive in the Abundance Subdivision, located at the corner of Blessings Street and Thankful Peak. You get there by taking the Praising Him Interstate, which runs North, South, East and West.

No longer will I allow myself to travel on Begging Peter to pay off Paul Route, because it's located at a dead-end intersection called: I Don't Have, which crosses Borrowers' Junction.

I no longer hang out at Failures' Place near Excuses Avenue, next to Procrastination Mall. I've moved on to an upscale community called Higher Heights with unlimited potential and opportunities for me to Succeed--look at me!!

Please know that each day that HE awakens me, I am thankful to be a product of my new environment. All of my clothes are MASTER TAILOR-MADE. I am dressed in Life's Finest.

Let me introduce you to all of my new neighbors:
CONCEIVE IT,
BELIEVE IT,
ACT ON IT,
HAVE FAITH,
BE PERSISTENT,
AND ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO ACHIEVE.
Life is good because: GOD IS GOOD!!!!!
HAVE YOU MOVED TOO????
If not I pray that you will be moving soon!!!!!!!!

Kwanzaa Principles

2009-01-01T11:14:00.005-06:00

I hoped that each and every one of you had a very Merry Christmas. I also hoped that you enjoyed your family and friends; plus that you remembered the reason for the season.

Happy Kwanzaa! Kwanzaa is an African American and Pan-African holiday which celebrates family, community and culture. Celebrated from 26 December thru 1 January, its origins are in the first harvest celebrations of Africa from which it takes its name. The name Kwanzaa is derived from the phrase "matunda ya kwanza" which means "first fruits" in Swahili, a Pan-African language which is the most widely spoken African language.

Kwanzaa was created in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga, professor of Africana Studies at California State University, Long Beach, author and scholar-activist who stresses the indispensable need to preserve, continually revitalize and promote African American culture.
Finally, it is important to note Kwanzaa is a cultural holiday, not a religious one, thus available to and practiced by Africans of all religious faiths who come together based on the rich, ancient and varied common ground of their Africanness.

We should celebrate unity in the many forms it appears in our lives and in the world: the togetherness of family and community, the harmony of individuals working for one collective purpose, or the connectedness of all humanity regardless of language, beliefs, customs, or geography.

In God there is a unity of spirit. In prayer I contemplate this oneness and experience unity with all life. In these sacred moments, we should remember unity with all humanity.

Being gentle and open with purpose, creativity, and faith, we should help generate unity in the world.

"Lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."--Ephesians 4:1-3

The next seven days, I will introduce the principles of Kwanzaa. This is FYI. I am learning myself. And of course I am welcoming all comments:

Umoja (Unity) To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.

Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.

Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.

Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Nia (Purpose) To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Kuumba (Creativity)To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Imani (Faith) To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

The last day of Kwanzaa is the first day of the New Year, January 1. Historically this has been for African people a time of sober assessment of things done and things to do, of self-reflection and reflection on the life and future of the people and of recommitment to their highest cultural values in a special way.

Following in this tradition, it is for us then a time to ask and answer soberly and humbly the three Kawaida questions: Who am I; am I really who I say I am; and am I all I ought to be? And it is, of necessity, a time to recommit ourselves to our highest ideals, in a word, to the best of what it means to be both African and human in the fullest sense.

This Day of Assessment or Day of Meditation is noted in the first-fruits celebration of the Akan by J. B. Danquah. He states that the Akan have one day during the first-fruits harvest in which they simply engage in quiet reflection.

"The idea on this (day) is to maintain a quiet, humble and calm attitude with regard to oneself and towards one's neighbors." It is thus a good time for reassessment and recommitment on a personal and family level.