Modern Day Romance

Marriages are sometimes difficult. Being close to someone else brings rewards, but it also creates tension. I believe that our expectations about love and romance are out of touch with reality. While being in love is great, love does not solve the problems that people face.

We as a people are also individuals, when it comes to love, one size does not fit all. I mean that when problems arise in a marriage, one solution in your marriage may not be the right solution in someone else’s marriage.

Marriage is not always tied to romantic love. Marriage is more practical in nature, designed for raising families. I'm not saying that couples don't have genuine feelings and affection for each other, but notions of love and romance is tempered by reality.

Most people now believe that love is supposed to be based on complete honesty, undying passion, and an all-encompassing view of emotional closeness.

And it almost goes without saying - everyone expects their partners to be faithful.
All of this begs the question: Have we somehow set the standards so high that everyone falls short?

While many people have fallen for the idea of perfect love, few couples can make it work in the long run. For many people their marriages are filled with half-truths, fading passion and emotional distance.

Quite frankly, I believe that many people are simply not well-suited for the demands of a modern-day romance. Not only have we set our expectations as high as possible, but many people have personality characteristics which make it difficult for them to be emotionally intimate with a romantic partner.

Despite the fact that many people are poor candidates for romantic love, people feel pressured to fit the norm - to fit into our current version of love and romance.

Our pursuit of ideal love tends to produce results which are far from ideal: Our quest for perfect love causes much heartache, anguish and pain. When things don't go exactly according to plan, people are left feeling inadequate, disappointed and they start questioning themselves - "How and why did this happen to me? Why can't I make love work?"

Again, could the answer be as simple as this - not everyone belongs in a modern-day romantic marriage?

Ultimately, I believe that much of the lying and cheating that occurs in our marriages is caused by couples setting unrealistic expectations, which they can never meet; and by people trying to be someone who they are not.

I also believe that we as a people try to live out our fantasy of how romance and marriage should be instead of living in the real world of people are human and makes mistakes. We should learn how to communicate and listen to each other more than less.

Marriages are never easy and in many ways we make them more difficult than they need to be.In my opinion, much of the sadness we experience in our marriages stems from our desire to overlook what's obvious about people, love and romance.

In marriages, we should respect each other as individuals, learn each other likes and dislikes, listen and communicate, be each other’s best friend, don’t discuss your marriage with family and friends.

My mother use to tell me “that if your business gets out in the streets, you put it there.”

Always tell each other that you love him/her, never take each other for granted, and NEVER go to bed angry.

Relax and enjoy your marriage, your family, and your best friend (soul mate) until death takes you away!